The first thing on your mind when you make trip is to get to your destination in good time. You want
to save as much time as you can and return in one piece without staining your clothes with mud or
grease. You can never, plan to enter an argument with the bus conductor or his king, the driver. You
don’t even bargain for the touts who will enjoy themselves dragging you to their vehicle even before
ask for your destination.
So sooner or later; you realized to your surprise that what you get traveling in our cities are the only things you do not bargained for.
If you are taking public transport, the tout with his dirty hands will enjoy pulling you like a reluctant goat into a rickety, vehicle and load you like a sack of cassava. Tell him to take his dirty hands off your shirt and he would say, “Shoo, see this Okoko man. Where you come from sef? You don baf this week? Dirty man wey dey live for waterside want talk because you dey go village go sell your papa land go settle debt for town.
If you make the mistake of asking where he lives, the pin head has an answer for you. I live in Aso Rock. My uncle is the Minister in charge of paying salary there … By now you are regretting you asked in the first.
I remembered a time when Woman laughed at this strange portfolio. She was told, “Which position is that one?”
“Wetin you dey laugh, you wey bleach like fire burn you for face?”
“My friend, I am sitting on grease; when was the last time you washed this vehicle?”, you want to know.
“Abi na grease or you done release for pant? Person wey ever carry broom before they calk because you done see conductor finish”, he fired.
You may think you are better off in your own vehicle but then you will need miracle to get fuel. Then you get to the road and a driver will shout at you, “Hei, Madam driver will you carry that carton comot from this road?”
His friend will add for effect; “no mind the yeye man wey sell land to buy this ngwogworo and he thinks he has arrived.
Ahead is a python-like traffic at a complete stand still. By the time you sit there for an hour with running engines, blaring vehicle horns, curses and noise, you will feel your senses crawling out of your head.
Over the years, transport related stress has become a major problem in our cities … Little wonder we
experience headache and become irritated after such a trip. In Nigeria, living in a city is war itself and when armed robbers knock on your door you wet your legs and think of your village. db.
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